Tough Guise
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
You didn't think I would write that post about the female experience without following it up with the male experience, now did ya? My gender class on Wednesday was focused primarily on the issues around what it means to "be a man", how masculinity is defined, what it means when boys are not allowed to express emotions or be "sissys", and what we can do to shift these expectations of men and broaden the idea of manhood.
Here are two clips we watched that might be some good food for thought. The Disney one was HUGELY controversial in class. Would love to hear what you all think about the messages Disney sends to our girls and boys. Do you think the messages of love and goodness overpower the messages about masculinity and femininity? Or do you think these movies promote the ideas of gender socialization and end up hurting the fight to make changes.
This next clip is a good step in the right direction in terms of making changes for male aggression and violence.
So what do you think? Is perpetuating gender roles a good or bad thing? Are the rules of what a girl should be and what a boy should be hurtful or helpful to an individual? Parents, any insight on what you have done with your boys and girls?
celebrate different gender roles?
8 Comments:
Wow, that's a lot to take in. hummm I'm going to have to think all about this and get back to you. I will say that I know the media has a HUGE impact on how we see ourselves, and others. I wish I could sit in on your classes with you!
Aimee- Your class does sound super interesting. I wish I would've taken a gender roles course when I was in school.
Now, as for the clip- I don't know if I agree with what it's trying to say. Yes, I understand that there are certain characters in Disney films that are sexist and portray a derogatory sense of what men ought to be, but most of those characters also seem to be depicted the bad guys. When I used to watch Beauty and the Beast as a child I remember thinking that Gaston was just about the opposite of the type of man I wanted to marry. Maybe that is why I fell in love with a skinny, humble, white guy. Who knows?
As for the heroes- don't they usually end up remembering what's important and become a bit more humble at the end of the show? Think about Hercules, or Aladdin, or The Emperor's New Groove.
Also, I don't know if I agree that most of the protagonists are strong with broad chests and big arms. Are we forgetting Peter Pan, Robin Hood, Arthur from the The Sword in the Stone, Pinocchio?
I don't know. I just have a hard time getting upset with Disney when there are SO many other scary things that are influencing our children to believe one way or the other. I think Disney is some what of a breath of fresh air.
I guess all we can really do is raise them the best way we can and love them no matter who they become.
Just some thoughts.
Peace.
I say amen to Cicely on her thoughts on Disney. No elaboration needed.
As far as the second clip, of coarse violent masculenity is a very negative thing in society. Violence and agression certainly should not be made acceptable or expected of a "real man." Equally, it should be acceptable for a man to be sensative, caring, compassionate, etc.
With that said, however, I think that gender roles are a very positive thing. That doesn't mean we have one narrow definition you need to fit into, but I think that society, or business, or a family, any organization really, operates much better when there are distinct yet equally important roles for the individual members, playing to the strengths/innate qualities of the individual. I think men and women are innately different in good ways, that serve a great purpose.
The clip talked about the negativity of terms like independent, in control, tough, respected, strong--but I only find these to be negative when taken to an extreme. Respected doesn't mean no one will mess with you because you'll kick their ass if they do, it means people value the person that you truely are. Any "real man" can be all of those things in very positive ways.
I definitely agree that men, and women just as much, put on fronts to be who they think society wants them to be. Yes, that needs to change and if only we could all be confidant in who we are.
I don't think that eliminating gender roles is the answer to that, though. Yes, we should all be able to be our own individual and not have to conform to a box, but I still think we should celebrate our differences, and not try to make women become more like men and men more like women.
...sorry about the novel! ;) Such an interesting topic.
If I hadn't already written too much, I would've made the same comments Alicia made about gender roles only probably not as well put.
What are your thoughts Amiee?
Wow Aimee, you have articulate friends! I agree with their views (but could never express it so eloquently! Well put ladies!) And just want to say that as a mom, raising different genders, I find the issue of "gender profiling" surfaces daily and have to catch myself from criticizing them, bite my tongue and just let them explore their imagination while learning and subconsciously deciding what their individual roles in this life will be.
Thanks brilliant ladies for your comments. You are all very wise.
Sorry I have been slacking on answering you back about what I think. Here it is.....
I do not think that Disney is the evil corporation that this video clip tried to detail. I DO think there are messages that could move in a more progressive way. For example, I do think that through their lyrics and portrayal of women they are telling girls that the goal is to ultimately get swept off your feet and become a wife. I do not think that marriage is a bad thing or being a wife, I completely love being married, but it puts a bit too much value on marriage being the end goal (not to mention the pressure we feel in the Mormon church). I think a lot of single women struggle to find value because of this in our culture. If we were singing different songs and watching different patterns of relationships from a young age would this have any affect on how we viewed our relationships?
I also feel that many of the male characters are good in Disney movies. Like the Beast for example because a very, humble lovable person on the inside. Like Cicely said I think they show that process of tough exterior to soft inside transformation throughout many Disney movies.
So many people told me how much they loved Enchanted and though it was more realistic about marriage I think that Amy Adams character still didn't get the point of her adventure. Sure, it is a movie about love and why am I being such a cynic but I really feel that women need to find value in being who they are not who they end up marrying. I guess my inner feminist was screaming when I watched this. Inside of finding value in herself she just ended up finding love in the "right" person. Her whole world was a man. It was like she had no other core belief about herself but to become a partner to a man I didn't believe really knew or loved her (I know it was only an hour and a half movie but still!) I fear for a mid-life crisis and a divorce without really finding value in self besides just a male.
I am not a raging bra burner but I do feel that gender roles can be hurtful if taken advantage of. With domestic violence such a problem in our society we are doing something wrong with what we teach our boys about being men. This is global problem. Men and women should be equal but I realize they are different. This doesn't mean men should control women or put them in a subservient role. I see this happening far too often to make me feel comfortable about gender roles. I want the genders to compliment one another and to be integrated. If the power issue remains this will never happen. And I have hope for the future.
That being said, I was SURROUNDED with amazing examples of beautiful, emotional, loving men and I believe I want to raise my sons the same way. I also want to raise my girls the same way. I do believe there are many parents in the world teaching both boys and girls wonderful values and raising amazing children.
I think messages of being a good person, having good morals and values, and teaching your children how to be authentic to their true self is more important than what toy they are playing with. Gender has nothing to do with teaching right and wrong.
I think all of you probably do a fantastic job with this.
So those are my thoughts. Thanks for joining the conversation!
Sorry to enter the conversation so late - just wanted to mention how much I HATE buying clothes for baby boys (seems like everyone is having a baby these days) because it is so difficult to find something that doesn't have a sports logo, car, or train on it. Let alone something that isn't blue or green. It seems benign enough, but this division between boys and girls begins at birth. I think the more we can filter out the biases and let kids discover for themselves what gender means, the better. But, how to do this? That is the ultimate question.
Agreed.
Post a Comment