The Public vs. Private Debate

This weekend I had the good fortune of being in the company of some of my favorite bloggers. A bunch of bloggers in one room? You can imagine the conversations that ensued. (Be ready for a long post I have lots of thoughts and its 4 am)...

Isn't it funny when you get in a room with people who you are great virtual friends with but do not see all that often or may not have a long history of friendship together? Honestly, I think we can all admit that there is kind of a creepiness to the whole blog world where you feel a sense of intimacy with someone because you are a regular reader of their blog but 1) you might have never met them in your whole life 2) you were just sort of friends before blogging exploded or 3) you are acquaintances and they don't even know you look at their blog. Creepy and weird, really, but quite voyeuristically (I know it is not a word) delightful. Who doesn't like to spy, honestly?

That being said, as a blogger there is also a vulnerability that is put out there. My heart is out in cyber land for all to read. I know strangers, ex-boyfriends and friends-of-friends are probably reading my thoughts and following my life in the privacy of their own home computers (I know, get over myself, right?!). These people are possibly judging me, making fun of me, laughing at me with their friends, or maybe liking me. Who knows? But that is what I risk in having this gig.

Well to my point, we, my blogger friends and company that I saw this weekend, discussed these sort of things which led us to the private vs. public debate. It is an issues that all good mothers and private people struggle with regarding their blog. Do you go private to protect or keep it public to connect with friends? I know we have all heard the story (or shall we say "urban legend" until I get a real source) about the girl who had the blog and went to the park with her kids and a creepy stalker man knew a bit too much about her life. This "urban legend" inflicted fear and sleepless nights in many mothers around the world. Blogs were made private, stalkers were cut-off, histories deleted with a click of a button, and doors were closed to any potential old friends innocently inquiring about your life.

Now, I have had multiple people tell me this "urban legend" and NOT ONE person has been able to lead me to the source. No one knows this girl. It is always "my friend's friend" or "my cousin's sister-in-laws friend". My analytical mind thinks, Hmmmm..... Is this story really true? Does anyone know this girl? I am honestly asking. If you do please let me know so I can hear the story from her. It would make my week. I just need to know if it is true or not.

Frankly, I think the blog world is just too young in its development to know if blogs are dangerous to its people. Maybe the chances of having something freaky happen to you or your family because you have a blog is just as likely and not having a blog? Maybe not? It will be interesting to see what unfolds as blogs enter the toddler phase and we can see more of the effect it has on the world and safety issues.

Here is what I think though. I think it is important to blog smart just like it is important to be smart in that crazy world out there. Don't put details about where you live and when you are going on vacation if your house is going to be empty (tip from Naptime). Someone might come and steal things out of your house because you told everyone you were out of town. Shannon and I also think that Google needs to step it up and put an option to request an invitation to a private blog like how you add friends on Facebook (Are you reading this Google think tankers? This is brilliant, really!). I think if enough people put in this request we might see this happen.

I do not judge people who decide to go private - I can understand their reasoning totally and completely and respect their move. It just means I don't read their blog as much because there is no RSS feed and that sort of bums me out. Its like I forget they are there, ya know. Too much effort. And when I find old friends with private blogs I have no way of accessing it to make a comment and reconnecting. So sad.

So that is what I think about that. Something drastic could happen and my mind could change tomorrow. But for now I am sticking to staying public, sharing the love, and building friendships for all bloggers and non-bloggers (who get mad at you when you slack on blogging - Marni Timmerman) alike. Because frankly, I have met more wonderful people and reconnected with past friends blogging than freaky men in parks.