The Couple Dating Scene

Pre-marriage I didn't realize how tricky the couple dating thing would be.

He needs to like her, you need to like him.

You need to like her, he needs to like him.
And the same goes for the other couple.
They both need to like you both back.

Everyone needs to genuinely like everyone in order for it to be a successful couple friendship that will last for a lifetime. The kind of friendship where you get choked up at their children's wedding ("How did they grow up so fast?" {tear}).

This may seem like an easy equation but in the real world couple dating is a complicated, delicate, relational matter.

You may have experienced a night out where the boys are buddies but the other wife is as boring as reading a book on snails and you are trapped for a whole evening. Or you and hub are getting along great with the wife but her husband wants to talk about his multi-level marketing product that you MUST-BUY-BECAUSE-IT-WILL-CHANGE-YOUR-LIFE all night and again, trapped. When your spouse tells you that you will be hanging out with "that couple" again, your heart sinks and you pray for the hours to go by quickly. "Didn't we just hang out with them?," you think to yourself. *

On the flip side, those nights out with the perfect balanced couples are magical. You get in the car to drive home and say to each other, "Aren't we so lucky to have such wonderful, funny - hilarious even, intelligent, wise, kind, thought-provoking, non-judgmental, open-minded, amazing friends where we can be completely ourselves and say crazy things in the late hours of the night and they still love us anyway?" "Oh yes. Yes indeed we are lucky, honey."

Good couple friends are priceless and surprisingly hard to find.

So tonight Scott and I were driving home from a wonderful trifecta couple date in West Seattle and got on the subject of another, distant couple I am intrigued by. I would go as far to say, "admiring from a distance". We started talking about why they are intriguing to me, possible outcomes for dating this couple, the interactions we've both had with each partner in the couple, and how we might approach making it happen someday. We spent a few more minutes talking about the potential we see in them as future couple dating candidates. And then Scott says jokingly, "Well, do you think they would be...[pause]...interested?"

We laughed our heads off because our conversation had become pretty ridiculous. But maybe, someday, we will get the balls to flirt with this couple and see if they might want to date us too.

Point of my Post: Cherish your couple friends. Wrap them in your arms and give them a big hug because their friendship adds a wonderful, healthy dynamic to your marriage.

* Situations have been changed to protect the innocent. Don't worry this couple is not you and your spouse. Or is it??.... Ha, ha, ha...