The Amazing Adventures of Aimee & Her Apple

So I am finished (or at least with all the major stuff). It feels so great. The immediate feeling right now is more exhaustion than anything but I think after a good nights sleep and a day to decompress from the long anticipation of today, it will start to settle in and I will really feel a huge sense of relief.

Overall, I think the presentation went really well. I had about 1 hour and 45 minutes to present a couple I had worked with and get feedback on my work. There were specific clips I needed to show and a whole bunch of other required stuff which I won't bore you with. My internship supervisor, practicum supervision, and fellow practicum students were all there. It was a pretty cool experience to look at my case so in depth like that.

After that was all over, Scott and my dad came in for my personal reflection. In my big 100 pager I had to include a personal reflection and since my blog has basically been my journal of my experience I took a few blogs that related to my experience and included them in the portfolio. But today, I decided to write my own reflection. It is a little long, but if you care to read than please continue. I gave everyone an apple in honor of my story, which you will understand once you finish reading.

Thanks everyone for all your love and good energy. I seriously have some great people in my life.

Now I am going to fall deep into my mattress and not wake up until I so desire.

• • •

Our story begins in Salt Lake City, nearly 4 and half years ago in the winter of 2005. Together my new, crispy, white iBook G4 Apple computer, typed our application essay to the school my soul mate cousin had attended and transformed himself. He insisted, I too, would love this program. So typed we did, with hopes of higher education.

A few months later, off we flew to our interview. The campus called to me in its spring splendor, all flowery and green. Professors and students lured me with their talk of “holding people’s stories” and “witnessing change in people.” And as I walked away my whole body was filled with a spiritual light and I knew this was where the Universe wanted me and my Apple.

ACCEPTED! HOORAY! They liked us! They really like us! So we prepared for a Fall 2005 admission until along came a young, strapping man to put a kink in our plan. My Apple and I were never quite sure if a Mormon boy could love us. We were so liberal and all. Had opinions. Voted Democrat for heavens sake. But this one was different. He didn’t talk about himself the whole time, he cared to hear what we had to say and what we thought and believed about the world, and surprisingly continued not to bug us with each hang out. We were perplexed. And we found ourselves really starting to love this person. Could this be The One? We couldn’t ask him to move to Seattle could we? It was so early in the game. So my Apple and I decided to double down and play this one out and deferred our education for one year while we saw how the chips fell.

Time passed and this man wanted to marry me and my Apple. But what were we to do about his education? He had one more year at the University of Utah. Could we find him a program up here? We tried everything and there was nothing. So again, my Apple and I deferred one more year with the blessing of Tina and Claudia and the assurance that they knew I was serious about this gig. But our hearts were a little worried, and we wondered how this whole higher education was going to happen. But we kept faithful that our time in the sun would come too. In the end we knew we got the best of both worlds – the man and the education.

One year at a soul-sucking dental marketing job was great motivation for my Apple and I to get the hell out of dodge and make it happen. So we packed the Penske and off we drove to Seattle to make a new home with the parents. (Living with your parents is the new living on your own, you know.)

September finally came and off I went to the Whidbey Island initial MFT retreat. I came home to tell my Apple all about the kites, and my symbol of the record of Free to Be You and Me, and the people I met, and the constant uh-huhing and head nodding, and how we were exactly in the right place, and how Tina said we would be learning the art of curiosity. And my Apple and I really wanted to learn this art well.

Fall quarter started and we learned about theories and systems and the ecology of the family and the family life cycle, oh my! And I wanted to cut my head open and pour all the knowledge into it. This is what we had been waiting for all these years! Belief papers and blue books passed and magically it was Christmas time.

With the New Year and the soggy days, along came the internship at Evergreen Manor. Drugs and addiction. We were jumping into a world we had little experience in and I was a bit nervous. Their stories rocked my world. I quickly became known at the intern that cries when they shared their history of drug use. I reframe my lack or dry eyes to good modeling of emotional congruency. I think the women quickly learned that my tears were just a sign that I truly cared about their stories. Nervous as I was, I began loving my time with my clients. The joining process came easy.

Our winter classes brought with it Bowen – oh Bowen, how we love you, the DSM, and more theories of course. My Apple and I started making friends in the program too. Our practicum group was also just getting to know each other.

Believe it or not the spring finally came and we began learning about ethics, assessing, and gender issues. The sun was shining in Everett, which meant sessions outside and the beginnings of teaching the relationship class. We loved teaching this class.

Spring turned to summer and my Apple and I were thrilled with the thought of returning to Whidbey Island for a grief retreat. Nelson Mandela said, “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” How true this was. It was a wonderful experience to be back. Summer quarter brought the pain of writing the never-ending theory paper and my Apple and I were spending way too much time together working on that paper. We were thankful when that was finished.

One year down! Time; what tricks you play on us. Had we been in the program forever or had it just begun?

Fall quarter was an interesting one for us. We started to feel the crunch of learning to perfect a skill. I had all these ideas in my head about what I should be doing in the room AND I was trying to bring myself in the room BUT the two were competing with each other. I had a few weeks of therapy cramps and wondered if I would ever be any good at this. There were tears over Thai food with Gay. My support network was starting to build and I found people who would talk me through these moments. Abusive systems was providing great information to bring to therapy while we were also memorizing all the drugs, their generic and brand names and what they treat. It was a busy quarter with a full case load, groups to lead, and papers to write. And I can’t forget to mention a new president!

Winter quarter was the toughest for me and my Apple. The end was near... but not quite. My time teaching relationships had come to an end and I started to realize how much I had learned from these women and how I believed that they could have the life they wanted with hard work. I had been there over a year and I could see the change that was happening with my longer clients. Whether I liked it or not, my heart was in this game and I had come to love my job there so much.

The Treatment of Couples class rocked our world and I knew that working with couples is where my passion lies. My interest in collaborative family law and infidelity issues were all sparked in this class.

And then when me and my Apple thought it would never happen, spring appeared. The fastest quarter of all the quarters has brought with it many wonderful surprises. A history of my sexuality, mission statements and five-year plans, and a final presentation all have kept me so busy that I haven’t had time to really realize how quickly June is upon us.

As my internship wraps up and I become a dying intern, I have old friends coming back for their last sessions. I start to believe that there are happy ending because I have gotten to see them more often than not. And not just the kind in fairy tales. Real life happy endings. And that has made it all worth it.

So here I sit, in front of you, with some sad news about me and my Apple's adventures.

You see, my Apple computer died on Tuesday night, in my bed, while working on Sean and I’s research proposal. All I get is the blue screen of death. I do not cry for the physical machine because I have been secretly praying something would happen so I could get a new one. I really want a new one. I get sentimental because it has been with me on this whole journey. Through all the struggles and joys and the hours of classes and the papers and the blog posts and the lessons for family group and relationships and interactive parenting and anxiety about the “what next?” and the visions of graduation and all the hope we hold for the future.

It is the symbol of my experience all wrapped up inside a very used, not so crispy white, letters missing on the keyboard, broken screen, no track pad, vintage iBook G4 Apple computer.

We are tired and wore out, our insides are needing a rest, but we have more wisdom and experience than when we first starting typing that application essay so many years ago.

And in the end all I have to say is,

what a wonderful adventure it has been.