Emotions & Bathtubs

I am almost 30 and I finally realize I have trouble with too much down time. Maybe I don't have enough hobbies but after 3 weeks of sporadic commitment, I am getting a little antsy in my pantsy. I like routine. I like responsibility. I love being productive. I like being forced to wake up before 9:30am and being tired before midnight. This 3am to 9:30am sleeping routine is making me feel like I am 18 again.

Thank heavens there are jobs and vacations in the near future.

Frankly, this lack of responsibility is making me emotional. I am down, hopeless, and believe my future is bleck and blue one day and the next I am loving everything in sight and believe everything is going to work out fantastically in my life.

Oh emotions, you tricky little devils.

For example, last Thursday was a Seattle summer dream come true for me. It started out with a walk with 2 of my favorites at Greenlake, talk, talk, talk, hit up the neighborhood lemonade stand on the way home (paying homage to my childhood), dinner with Meghan and Ryan, followed by a round of mini golf and go karts on a warm Seattle summer night.

It didn't end there. Oh no. We then went to a late 11pm movie.

Because we're cool like that.

It was just one fun event after another.

The movie was Away We Go, which I'm sure many of you have seen by now. I am not going to write a review though it was a lovely movie and you should go see it too. What I am going to talk about is one particular part. This won't spoil anything so don't be afraid to keep reading if you haven't seen it.

Lately, I have been very sentimental about family, but particularly siblings. I think the older you get the more you realize how important it is to be around people that truly know who you are. And what better people than your sibs, right? The people that know the real you - both good and bad. Well, there is a part in the movie where the main girl goes bathtub shopping with her sister. See this picture. It was this part.


Remember? They have a moment talking about their parents in the bathtub. It was really sad but sweet, right. It got me all teary because it was so familiar. Siblings knowing your history. Being with you through all the stuff that goes down in families. Seeing you through childhood, and into your rowdy adolescence. Watching loves and heartbreaks. Being there for the big and little milestones until one day you are talking on the phone reminding your 35 year old sister that you are in fact almost 30 and grown up and yes, she is really 35.

Like sands through the hourglass...

Shan, has referred to an article that has provided much thought for me about the role of siblings in our life. I LOVE the ideas this Time article raises about sibs. It will take a click but well worth the read here. The main highlight is this:

From the time they are born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we'll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life. "Siblings," says family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, "are with us for the whole journey."

Life partners. Amen.
Thank heavens for life partners.

I realize that siblings can mean many different things to many different people. I have friends and cousins that have been with my through enough of my history that calling them life partners would be completely appropriate. I'm sure I could cry my eyes out in a bathtub with a few of these people that aren't bound to me by blood.

There is just something sacred about being in the presence of people that get you - because they knew you when you had pigtails and sang to Paul Simon Graceland as you drove to California to visit your Grandma Betty who would make you roll-ups every morning if you wanted.

For various reasons, I drove home a bit emotional after that movie even though I had an incredible day. I was nostalgically melancholy and thankful and quiet inside and I can't really pinpoint why, but there were my emotions going all over the board again in just 12 short hours.

And the most important thing to remember about emotions? They aren't permanent.

So you just got to be with them as they come.

I'm sure I will be back to my normal, less extreme emotional self in no time.

Until then, I'll just hop on the roller coaster and keep giving all these emotions a big fat hug.