The Crash Course
Thursday, October 7, 2010
It has almost been 3 weeks since Cash has been born which is completely crazy because it feels like forever and just yesterday that we were staring into his freshly born eyes.
Time; what a thief you are.
Before I know it I will be sending him off to public education.
It is pretty amazing the change and lessons about yourself that one can learn in such a short amount of time. Keeping a baby alive has been quite the learning curve for this old lady. Here are just a few things I've learned over the last almost 20-something days. Honesty and all...
01. I sucked as a baby-less friend to my mommy friends. Write them all an open letter of apology begging for their forgiveness.
Dear Mommy Friends,
I am sorry that I was so selfish in my baby-less years and didn't do more to help you and give you hours of my kindness and baby-free service hours. I have had so much support and it has made me realize that I didn't realize how time consuming and at times exhausting baby life can be. I would've made more dinners, and rubbed more sore breastfeeding backs, and brought tasty drinks, and made fresh baked goods, and started a food calendar, and brought over stool softeners, and taken your older children to the park, and washed your sheets because there is probably spit up on them, and spent more time just talking and keeping you company while you breastfeed, and swaddled your baby and shhh'd in its ear so you didn't have to do it one more time that day, and just overall been a better friend/sister/co-worker. Please, please, please forgive me. In payment of my suckiness I promise to do better from now on for all future mom-with-new-babies friends. Okay? Will you forgive my ignorance?
Thank you friends for everything you have done for us. I will not forget!
Community is everything in times like these and I am so thankful.
02. Using a breast pump is quite the experience. Don't be surprised with how long it takes to get a 4 oz bottle full. One little drip-drop at a time. Patience is required with these contraptions. (Unless of course you milk flows like a river.) Oh yes, and it gets easier. Don't give up on the suction.
03. Baby blues are real. At least for me. Now don't go worrying about me. I truly am fine but there is some adjusting to do with all the body changes, soreness, exhaustion, and wacky hormones that are going on and sometimes I don't recognize myself. I have given myself permission to cry once a day. Sometimes more. And sometimes I skip days. But if I just let my emotions be what they are in the moment it is easier than fighting them off for hours and then spilling open later.
04. I am a mom. Let me repeat that. Aimee Heffernan is a mother. I keep wondering when Cash's real mom is going to come get him and take him home and then I realize, I AM THE MOM. Remember how I have said before that there is a settling into marriage that takes place once the wedding happens and it takes a little time to start feeling like that other person is actually family? Well now I believe that maybe it is the same with motherhood. At least for me, I guess. Just because the doctors let me drive home with the baby doesn't mean I feel like a mom overnight. The settling is happening here at the Heffernan home but it will take some time and I am ok with that for now because one day I will look back and I won't ever remember not being a mom, ya know.
05. Don't use Always maxi pads.
06. Apparently my uterus is still too high - whatever the heck that means. Just praying my insides figure out how to settle down too. Shannon suggested I start talking to my uterus again like I did before I was pregnant. That made me laugh. I think I'll start doing that again. :)
07. There is a reason why so many cultures over thousands of years have used the swaddle. Babies will fight it but the swaddle will save your life as a new parent.
08. A helpful, kind husband who tells you that you are beautiful and seems like he actually means it even when your body is repositioning from post-baby pregnancy and labor, and who you cry to on a regular basis for all kinds of strange reasons, and who doesn't hate changing diapers, and who melts with you over things your baby does that only the two of you can actually appreciate, is better than all the money in the world.
Favorite recent Scott quote:
"I am starting to realize that parenting is just a series a tricks."
Oh yes, and the mustache is back.
09. I am lowering the expectations I have for myself. And then once I do that, I am going to lower them some more. I think doing this might set me free.
10. All the cliches are true. There is no love like the love you have for your own children. I could watch Baby TV all day.
11. It is easy to fall asleep while writing a blog post... must go to bed now.
Enjoy this picture of Cash with his cousin Parker taken on my iPhone. And for your whiners out there: I'll post more pictures soon.
16 Comments:
Aimee cash is adorable. I have truly appreciated your blog to read in the middle of the night when Harrison is eating and I need to stay awake or we will both fall asleep when one of us is supposed to be eating and me ( the responsible one) is supposed to keep him awake otherwise Hank wakes up an hour later hungry again. Anyways. It is always fun to hear you talk about things especially since I can relate to it all. It is an amazing thing being a mother but it sure is hard. Thanks for making me remember that I am not the only one feeling a little overwhelmed about motherhood. -Lara strong
Aimee, you summed up the first three weeks of having your first baby perfectly. You have such an eloquent way of saying things but as I read your words they were my exact thoughts. Don't worry about the crying, Dave would find me holding Marcus crying and be worried. I would look up at Dave and say "I'm crying because I"m so happy", and say it was a happy/good cry. Cash is adorable!!
I am happy to help and happy to do more. You're doing great- both you and Scott. Cash is a lucky little boy.
He is so cute. I mean, REALLY cute! I am one of the whiners. More pictures, please! I love you.
First of all, Cash is precious and totally beautiful. What a sweet little face.
So...this post made me cry. Everything you wrote is so, so true. But the part that REALLY got me was #1. I am working on emailing an apology to all my friends who had babies before me.
I actually remember feeling bugged at one of my close friends for dropping out of bookclub last minute because she had a new baby. I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face! But now we know right. :)
Good post. I loved it. You are awesome.
loved everything about this post!
I am in love with what you wrote about lowering your expectations and then lowering them again. I think it will make you free too! I want to paint that on my wall and my fridge and tattoo it on my hand.
Will you please remind me of that over the next million years of my life!
LOVE IT!
Oh, Aimee...how I love and agree with everything about this post. It's truly the most amazing and terrifying time of your life. Cash is already a total stud. We must introduce him to his future girlfriend Sloane soon!
Amen Sister!
I gasped as his cuteness. Well done.
Wow said that all prefect. Its the Best! But it isn't the easiest. Hang in there is gets better and better. please call me again when you have a min to talk. I think he looks like Scott. Who does look like? You and Scott did really well.
Well said. Well done. Look how adorable he is. Absolutely adorable. All boy! Love every moment of it, it does go by fast and then they start talking back to you :). I am excited and exhausted just remembering all that comes with that beautiful bundle. Love you!!
What a great picture of him with his cousin. He's adorable.
When you have a baby who weighed almost 10 lbs, it's like having a 3 month old...he is alert and looks the part! This is darling of the cousins.
i haven't had a chance to really congratulate you yet . . . so congrats!!!!! omg cash has the cutest little nose i've ever seen! he is so stinkin' cute! i want to give him a really really big cuddle. and amen about the whole not realizing what a bad child-less friend i was . . . i guess you just can't know how much help new moms need until you go through it. anyway. your family is darling. and you are a wonderful mommy, i just know it :)
What you said about being "single minded" before you have children is soooo true! I had a handful of children before all my siblings decided to jump on board and it was AMAZING how their perspectives changed once they became parents! It's just one of those things you don't understand until you experience it yourself.
And you are wise to be gentle on yourself. This is a big adjustment and you SHOULD let yourself feel emotions as they come. You will adjustment much faster.
So happy for you, Aimee! You are a beautiful mother. Inside and out.
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