The Edge
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
That being said, I am having the apartment blues tonight as our neighbor that shares our bedroom walls (specifically Cash's) knocked on the door tonight after Cash was having a minor crying fit before going to bed (believe me there have been far, far worse meltdowns in the few months of his life). She basically had 7 months of anger and resentment spilling out all over my door mat. I tried to be soft towards her - she came over with her ammo packed and ready to fire. I realize the last month of sleeping training could drive someone crazy - although I've been in heaven. See what the lack of sleep does to a person!
As you all know from reading my blog I have tried to be considerate and kind to my neighbors with the whole baby transition but honestly, I did not think she could hear us too much because we rarely - almost never - hear anything from over there. She had never come by before now to let us know she could hear. That side of the building has its own entrance and I figured the insulation must have been thicker or something??
Nope.
She said she "can hear everything. E.V.E.RY.T.H.I.N.G. Even when you sing to your baby."
I do sing to my baby! What a good mom I am.
Guess I was giving the earplugs and baked goods to the wrong neighbors.
So I am annoyed. And anxious. And I feel bad. We had just made really nice with our new upstairs neighbors that have a 2 year old and a baby on the way. A family! Winning! We have the parent-to-parent understanding thing going on and I was feeling much more relaxed. I guess the wall neighbor noticed my newly found comfort.
These comments on Facebook have made me feel better though:
My life is noisy and messy and delightful and for that I am so thankful. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Someday we won't live here and as we drive by going over the 520 bridge we will tell Cash stories about how his crying made the neighbor lady angry and we will laugh and be happy for the memories of our younger years and wonder where life has gone.
Oh time; what a thief you are.
12 Comments:
I won't even look my downstairs neighbor in the eyes when I pass by them in the hall. In the elevator? Just plain awkward.
They were playing their base super loud last night and Aaron asked me to leave a nasty note just because I'm the manager and can do that sort of thing (and get away with it). But oh my gosh--I can only IMAGINE what they say about me and my very loud children as they jump around our living room floor. Or the fact that I yell at them to stop jumping. I KNOW they hear it all and I feel pretty darn bad about it.
Embarassment aside though, she'll get over it;)
And Aaron has worn earplugs every night for 6 years. Maybe you can take a pack over to her with some cookies?
That's a hard thing to come face-to-face with- a person's long-held wrath. Meeting someone at their breaking point is NO FUN. I do not envy you and wish I had good advice though at this point I don't think gifts will appease. It is part of apartment living that we must put up with each other's life sounds. What can you do? You can't cease all noise! Hopefully she will calm down and be more approachable.
Ew. Rude. I would not change a thing. Babies cry. People make noise. That's life. But this situation would stress me out too. In the end though, you seem to be a very considerate neighbor. And NO ONE ON EARTH can make their babies be silent and never cry. If you are an apartment dweller you have to know this and deal. Sorry YOU have to deal with HER. Ugh. P.S. Cash is adorable perfection.
I think its funny that she mentioned she could hear you singing.
Pardon my french, but what a bitch.
Amen, Jamie.
Unhappy people love to blame. They are not problem solvers. They are whiners, complainers, haters and blamers.
The funniest thing is, I'm still almost sure you'll eventually win her over. I've known you too long and have watched you do this too many times to bet against ya.
You're not partying like a rock star. You're parenting.
Instead of taking it personally, you can feel sorry for her. I bet she has very little sex.
Oh, I hate the self-consciousness that comes with apartment living! J and I were just discussing this very subject as we reminisced about our early days. In our very first apartment, we had neighbors that would bang on the wall whenever we made a noise. I remember having my family over for the first time, and our conversations into the night were punctuated by BANG! BANG! BANG! as the couple next door tried to get their point across. What were we going to do, whisper? Go to bed early?
In another apartment, I ceased to feel bad about my crying baby when the neighbor refused to close their window whenever they were, um, intimate. They were LOUD, and I figured that meant they had more to be embarrassed about when we met on the stairs.
That said, I don't think there is a person in this world who wouldn't feel a bit softened by a plate of treats, some earplugs and a note along the lines of 'thanks for understanding that we're being as quiet as we possibly can.'
Good luck!
The gratitude that you have for your life is so beautiful.
I think we should all come over and make as much noise as possible this weekend. Make her thankful for the little, sweet noises of Cash. I mean, HELLO, has she ever seen him? If she took one look at that adorable little guy she would never say another word.
She sucks. The Heffernans Rock.
you are kind and nice. that's all.
oh and i love you
I'm a little bothered that your neighbor never came to you earlier and just stewed over hearing EVERYTHING. That's pretty sad. Maybe she was having an especially bad day and that was the straw...?
Probably not. (Sometimes I try to imagine the opposite of what things are just to see if it changes my attitude).
I'm really sorry. When we lived in an apartment, our downstairs neighbors told us they could hear us having sex! How mortifying. I would rather hear a baby crying any day than be heard!
Keep parenting your way. You are doing a great job. I wish your neighbor would have come to you sooner. How were you to know? Babies cry!
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